There is a big pine tree outside my office window. It is home to a family of squirrels and a few different kinds of birds. Most everyone gets along, except for the big blue birds (I was sternly informed they are not Blue Jays but something similar). When the blue birds are in the tree, no other animals are. All of the other animals get along and even play together, but the blue birds are the bullies of the tree.

Yesterday, I watched a squirrel sit on a branch and eat a pinecone like it was an ear of corn. He ate each piece until nothing was left but the “cob”. When he finished, he scurried off, got another pinecone, and came back to eat it. The scene was a relaxing way to endure a boring meeting listening to important people pontificate. Until, out of nowhere, the blue bird swooped in and attacked the squirrel. He was knocked off his branch, lost his pinecone and nearly fell out of the tree. He then jumped to another tree and disappeared. The blue bird hopped around the branches and then left.

This upset me. I was angry about what had happened. I wanted to console the squirrel. I wanted to throw a rock at the blue bird and explain to him that there was no reason to be such a bully. I began thinking about how to build a squirrel sanctuary that would allow squirrels to live in peace without the threat of random attacks from violent bluebirds. I wanted to find a way to ban bluebirds from my neighborhood. I then realized that I was having an emotional reaction to what I witnessed. This is vicarious trauma.

Our staff deal with this every day, but on a much greater level. Working with someone who has been a victim of crime, or an injustice can take a heavy toll. Some people learn to “let it go”, while others carry it heavily on their hearts. It is nearly impossible to not be affected by the stories we hear every day. When someone comes into our office who is angry at the world, it can be hard to help them, until we remember they have every right to be angry. What our clients endure should never happen to anyone. As humans, it is impossible to not take some of this pain onto ourselves.

I have the utmost respect for our staff and the work they do. It takes a special kind of person to do this work and we have some of the best at Family Assistance Program. To the staff reading this, thank you for your service. To the community, please thank the people who are working in this field. They do not do it for the money, they do it because they care enough to make the world a better place.

Darryl Evey
Executive Director